The Emperor's Rhyme

One of the benefits of clearing out your house is the discovery of things you'd long forgotten.  Today I found an A. A. Milne book from my childhood called "Now We are Six.'  In case you don't know, he was the originator of Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin.  I think this book is his absolute best.  It includes wonderful little rhymes and poems that have an elegance and sophistication that no Walt Disney Pooh Bear story can compete with.

For example, here's a clever little ditty called The Emperor's Rhyme.

TheKing of Peru
(Who was Emperor too)
Had a sort of a rhyme
Which was useful to know,
I he felt very shy
When a stranger came by,
Or they asked him the time
When his watch didn't go;

Or supposing he fell
(By mistake) down a well,
Or he tumbled when skating
And sat on his hat,
Or perhaps wasn't told,
Till his porridge was cold,
That his breakfast was waiting--
Or something like that;

Oh, whenever the Emperor
Got into a temper, or
Felt himself sulky or sad,
He would murmur and murmur,
Until he felt firmer,
This curious rhyme which he had.

Eight eights are eighty-one;
Multiply by seven.
If it's more,
Carry four,
And take away eleven.
Nine nines are sixty-four;
Multiply by three.
When it's done,
Carry one,
And then it's time for tea.

So whenever the Queen
Took his armour to clean,
And didn't remember
To use any starch;
Or his birthday (in May)
Was a horrible day,
Being wet as November
And windy as March;

Or if sitting in state
With the Wise and the Great
He just happened to Hiccup
While signing his name,
Or the Queen gave a cough,
When his crown tumbled off
As he bent to pick up
A pen for the same;

Oh, whenever the Emperor
Got into a temper, or
Felt himself awkward and shy,
He would whisper and whisper,
Until he felt crisper,
This odd little rhyme to the sky:

Eight eights are eighty-one;
Multiply by seven.
If it's more,
Carry four,
And take away eleven.
Nine nines are sixty-four;
Multiply by three.
When it's done,
Carry one,
And then it's time for tea.

I just can't tell you how much I love this poem.  It's full of wonderful rhymes and images.  And I think that I will memorize the ditty and use it whenever I feel awkward or shy.

If you haven't seen the illustrations by Ernest H. Shepard featured in this book, I urge you to check them out here. Shepard illustrated all of A. A. Milne's books plus the Wind in the Willows. He was amazing.  But no more amazing than the poetry of Milne.  How come nobody creates stuff like this any more?